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Fox and Gaga

Bulletin, 2009

“She’s too weird.”

“She’s a slut.”

“I heard she’s a tranny.”

These are all criticisms we have heard of two explosively famous female stars today: Megan Fox and Lady Gaga. While these two starlets dominate the latest TMZ, Perez Hilton and Us Weekly circles, they remain on distinctly divergent paths. Plenty of tween, teen, young adult and middle aged people are more than happy to regale you with a full explanation of why they hate/love/can’t stand/are devoted to Fox or Gaga. I suppose this article is a continuation of that.

I hate Megan Fox. I love Lady Gaga. Let me tell you why.

Megan Fox has been proclaimed the “Sexiest Woman in the World” and continues to rule atop her throne as queen of the fanboy wet dream. Hated by many women, Fox continues to get into the press for her so-called “outrageous” quotes and her nearly nude photos. Most women who hate her emote from a place of jealousy, wishing they too had a stellar rack, toned stomach and pinchable tush. Women with low self-esteem everywhere woefully lament their physical differences from her. This is not why I hate Megan Fox. I hate Megan Fox because she is not outrageous. She sells barely scandalous smut to those who choose to pretend they aren’t sexual beings. Talking about bi-sexual trysts with Los Angeles strippers is not outrageous; it’s pandering.

What I hate about Megan Fox is that she plays into the very gender dichotomy she claims to be so ardently against. She knows that the average young American woman is uncomfortable with sexuality, sexiness and sex itself. She then tells stories to magazines like Esquire and GQ meant to titillate the tight-laced masses and get them to become engrossed. With one breath she whines about the “archaic Biblical principles” that bind women to repressed sexuality and with another she blurts, “It’s very unfortunate because men are embraced for their sexual prowess and women discouraged from it,” while she not-so-subtly sucks on an ice cube in a barely-there bikini for the ogling pleasure of readers everywhere, watching the money pile up.

On the topic of young girls in the entertainment industry, Fox gripes, “But it’s not right. They take these little girls, and they put them through entertainment school and teach them to sing and dance, and make them wear belly shirts, but they won’t allow them to be their own people. It makes me sick.” In the same article she appears in pictures that hundreds of women have appeared in before—the sexy swimsuit, the bra and panties, the men’s button-up, it’s all been done before, call it cookie-cutter sex appeal.

While Fox decries the horrors of blatant sexuality as a curse for the average woman, leaving her forced to pretend as if it doesn’t exist while living in a world that placed vapid sexiness at a premium, she whines about women not being allowed to be smart and sexy. Then, with the same sort of back-and-forth that makes my blood boil, she says, in an interview with the men’s magazine Esquire, “I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson--who I have nothing against--but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard, but I do. And part of it is my own fault." Let me get this straight, Ms. Fox, you want to empower women but speaking with a vocabulary meant to be mastered by high-schoolers and being sexy because you’re smart is to be looked down upon? You’ve truly lost me.

Megan Fox doesn’t degrade women by posing in a ripped shirt covered in oil on top of a muscle car. She degrades women by not bringing anything else to the table. It seems just as repressive to women’s (and indeed, men’s) rights to bottle up human sexuality as it is to flaunt it as a tool for international fame. Hiding your body and feeling ashamed is just as bad as using it as a pop cultural calling card. Empowering women involves embracing both your body and your mind.

Lady Gaga is often placed alongside stars like Megan Fox in the pantheon of the criticized as “too weird.” Her non-traditional outfits, music videos and live performances have created a swirl of condemnation from critics large and small. Gaga, too, goes on the record frequently talking about her bisexuality, what she looks for in a lover, and is an outspoken advocate for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights. Some use this as evidence that she is merely a modern day shock jockey, riding the controversy of her rule-bending comments. They are wrong. She is much more. One thing separates Lady Gaga from Megan Fox--substance.

According to her biography, Gaga makes her own costumes, learned piano by ear at age four, and was a student (one of only 20) at the highly prestigious Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. Her impressive resume stacks up with her impressive popularity and skyrocketing record sales. When questioned by Rolling Stone’s Brian Hiatt about her sexiness, she replies, “I don’t feel like I look like the other perfect little pop singers…I think I am changing what people think is sexy.” She is certainly changing perceptions.

As for the rumors of her purported transsexuality, Gaga shrugs off the critics and makes frequent reference to her true fans. She, like Fox, fights the same sort of sexist blathering of fools who can’t comprehend a strong-headed, in-your-face female personality bringing sexiness to the table. However, Gaga answers with a savvy confidence that radiates and truly inspires young women (and young men) to be who they really are. She proves more than a willingness to be different. She shows a willingness to be unique. In a world where counter-culture is as pedestrian as a trip to the local mall, Lady Gaga breaks the mold—calling for liberation by individuality.

In the same Rolling Stone interview, Gaga said, “My true legacy will be the test of time, and whether I can sustain a space in pop culture and really make stuff that will have a genuine impact.”

I can only hope her legacy is an empowerment of all genders and a validation of individualism.

Pop Culture to Hurt the Soul

Originally Published, Gonzaga Bulletin, 2009

Lately, the world of pop culture has remained relatively calm. Britney is back on the wagon, Paris has kept the crotch shots to a minimum, Rihanna-beating Chris Brown has been relegated to community service and the Kardashian wedding fervor seems to have subsided to a dull roar. While most sane, productive members of society do not care about these people and their outlandish lives, I can’t help but long for the days when I could fill my extra time with a horrifyingly serious following of this type of celebrity ridiculousness—and I think you do too. Well, take solace, all ye crestfallen and beleaguered masses—rejoice in the return of the worst kinds of celebrity trash culture. These shows and songs are sure to provide a more than ample fix of the sort of pop culture that hurts the soul.

Real Housewives of the O.C.(Bravo): This season, the housewives make a return to the original Real destination. While these women fall somewhere between human and plastic, their devastatingly tacky taste, their nouveau riche mega mansions and their penchant for public mudslinging keep the viewers coming back. This season opens with a return to the inter-season beef between housewife (who is technically not anyone’s wife) Gretchen and older self-professed MILF-wannabe Tamra, centered on nude pictures of Gretchen released earlier this year. It would seem logical that being on this show would be humiliating enough, but the addition of your nude photos released to the public would likely cause any rational being to seriously consider a life as a Carmelite nun. Luckily, none of the housewives feel this way and new episodes air on Bravo Wednesdays at 10. On the scale of one to soul crushing, I rate this show a 7.

Broke and Famous (VH1): This show features two things that are necessities in a hit show: obscure former teen stars and extreme mismanagement of young fame money. The first episode of this show features the downward spiral of Charles in Charge’s Buddy, Willie Aames. Likely, you are asking yourself, “Who is Willie Aames?” Aames has emerged from obscurity and the opening episode follows Willie as he attempts to crawl out from under massive debt, repair a broken relationship with his wife and kids and blah, blah, blah… This show typically airs in reruns around 3am and for good reason. Enjoy this show after a serious night of imbibing.

For the Love of Ray J 2 (VH1): This show is hands-down the best throw-down joke punch line for culture nerds. Many of the reality shows where a G-list celebrity searches for love amongst a bevy of strippers, “professional cheerleaders,” and gold-diggers don’t exactly fall under the category of “progressive” when it comes to gender. FTLORJ2 certainly follows suit, as the opening episode features a scantily clad cattle call of desperate skanks vying for Ray J’s attention. At their opening dinner, the ladies take a moment to step away from their Hypnotiq and cheap vodka to be given nicknames by Ray J himself. While many of the names were fitting, albeit obvious, somehow, I don’t think this is what Confucius meant when he referred to a “rectification of names”. The ladies stood up one by one and received names based on basic characteristics of their lives. The show’s only bilingual woman is re-named “Caliente,” the token Italian girl is “Fettuccine,” and an older woman with a short, frosty haircut is named “MZ Berry” in honor of Halle herself. This show falls somewhere between “genius” and brain-achingly bad.

Justin Bieber, One Time: Finally, a male answer to Miley Cyrus. This Canadian pop pipsqueak makes the pre-pubescent ladies swoon with hits like the grammatically depressing “One Less Lonely Girl,” and the slightly less popular “Favorite Girl.” With such inscrutable titles, great scholars still debate the true meanings of his fine lyricism and cryptic metaphors. As a protégé of Usher, Bieber has exploded onto this scene, showing an adept use of tools like YouTube to propel his music to the farthest reaches of teen pop fans. Bieber’s single, “One Time” features my new favorite contraction “I’ma,” and a frequent use of “shawty,” which never fails to evoke a chuckle. Catch his videos online and have a listen to Justin Bieber before his voice changes.

Kim Zolciak, Tardy For The Party: Real Housewife of Atlanta Kim Zolciak hits (shrieks) a high note (almost) with her much talked about single, “Tardy for the Party.” Watching this cartoonish woman “sing” on live TV and shamelessly promote her single is funny until you realize that she is mother to two young girls. Lyrics like this make me appreciate the fact that my own mother is nothing like this horrible woman: “I'll be feelin' good by nine/After my third glass of wine/On the dance floor lookin' fine/All the boys tryin' to get in line.” Boys? Dear Kim Zolciak, you’re gross. And old. Please act accordingly.

To William Safire

Many students on campus will remember last Sunday as nothing more than “that day I caught up on homework” or “that day before Monday.” However, I hope to remember it as much more than that. Last Sunday, September 27th, we lost one of the greatest masters of language, William Safire. While Safire’s inflammatory political past as a speechwriter for Richard Nixon likely stands in the way of garnering unanimous support, his faithfulness to intentional writing remains largely unrivaled.
In the mass of tweets, texts and status updates, many wordsmiths feel forlorn amongst the LOLs and the OMGs. Safire’s contrarian existence among the op-ed staff of the New York Times was only a glimmer of what made him so special. His keen observations of our relationship with the words that shape our world in his column “On Language,” remain a staggering collective masterpiece in a life characterized by an insatiably minute attention to the English language.
As a young, aspiring writer and self-professed “word nerd,” I long for Safire’s wit, immense vocabulary and inspiring belief in the power of words and their infinite combinations. Though his life was shaped by international political and physical breakdowns and buildups of centuries-long institutions, Safire never forgot the proportional gravity and power of the written word.
While we may not all agree with the content of his pieces, we must acknowledge his masterful grasp of our language. As we move closer to a world where our written exchanges are limited to 140 characters, I hope we will all try to be more intentional, deliberate and thoughtful in how we use the myriad of words bestowed upon us. Although Safire himself will no longer be around to chastise those “nattering nabobs of negativism,” he will always be present as writers everywhere delight in picking the perfect word.

Modern Day Rain Dance

Published, Bulletin, 2009

Typically by this time in the year, Gonzaga students find themselves breaking out their sweaters, trying to squeeze into last year’s jeans and sipping on hot coffee drinks again. However, Mother Nature has chosen to bequeath us with a bevy of sunshine and sweltering classrooms deep into the heart of September. Yes, it is nice outside. However, as a true Northwest native, I can’t help but yearn for a blustery day.

The idea of a “rain dance” is certainly not foreign to our collective consciousness. However, times have changed, and buckskin drums have been replaced with almost unnoticeable earphones blasting ninety-nine cent tunes. I have decided to put on my own rain dance of sorts, replete with dreary-weather-inducing tunes. As I stroll to class feeling uncomfortable in my shorts and tank top, hoping I will stop sweating before I reach the 4th floor of Admin (it will always be Admin in my heart), I plug in and hope for gray. Here are the songs that can put you in that blustery mindset, even if the weather outside disagrees.

Old College Try, The Mountain Goats: In this uber-depressing cut from their 2002 album Tallahassee, The Mountain Goats know how to make love lost poignant and perhaps even funny. This simultaneously catchy and soul-crushing song features the genius description of a relationship mess, offering, “Like a trashcan fire in a prison cell/ Like the searchlights in the parking lots of hell/ I will walk down to the end with you/ If you will come all the way down with me.” Put this in your ear when you wish you were curling up and snuggling down on a cold day.

Skinny Love, Bon Iver: Maybe it’s just the story of this band’s genesis that necessitates this Bon Iver’s place in the pantheon of bad weather music. Bandleader Justin Vernon found refuge in a winter Wisconsin cabin and recorded one of the most intimate, complex and unique sounding records in recent memory. While other tracks, including Flume and re:Stacks are equally great, this song is best for the long walk to class on Mondays.

Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing, Magnetic Fields: Most. Genius. Band. Ever. This song is both adorable and brilliant. Magnetic Fields is the perfect way to coax the gray day out from hiding. The music is both peppy and smooth and the lyrics include this gem, which may be one of my favorite lines of all time, “And nothing matters when we're dancing / In tat or tatters you're entrancing / Be we in Paris or in Lansing/ Nothing matters when we're dancing.” From their epic 69 Love Songs 3-CD project, this song is sure to be a good bet as the sun beats down on your face and you long for a cloud in the sky.

Nobody Knows Me At All, The Weepies: Don’t let the band fool you; this awesome group’s music is not as depressing as their name suggests. This song is particularly appropriate as an iPod cut, where earphones isolate you in your own audio world. Roll out knits, hoodies and boots; this short ditty is the perfect cap to a playlist that beckons the fall weather.

Perhaps you are a sun-worshipper, soaking up these extra rays of the Indian summer. If you wish for a cooler day to mix it up put on these songs to coax a stubborn raindrop from even the sunniest Spokane days.

A Smattering of Summer

The Bulletin, 2009

That perennial time has come again when returning students scuffle around campus in hurried steps, cinder blocks move to and fro and the year begins again. For three months, we have wandered aimlessly, you and I, untethered in the world of entertainment. It’s good to be back. As a welcome back of sorts, let’s take a look down memory lane. This summer brought us great movies, revolutionary music and TV that means something.

Movies like Adventureland and 500 Days of Summer touched our hearts, taught us how to re-live our own awkward adolescences and better understand the ups and downs of love, lust and growing up. Blitzen Trapper released a groundbreaking EP and Mad Men returned with more surprises.

Adventureland: OK, so this movie was technically released in April, but since I saw it in a second-run pub theater this summer, I am counting it as a summer movie. In Greg Mottola’s coming-of-age tale, the loveable, awkward, sonnet-loving James Brennan (deftly portrayed by Jesse Eisenberg) finds himself employed at the apex of nihilist nothingness—the Adventureland theme park, and finds himself falling for the gorgeous, yet troubled Em. Yes, this movie does feature the abominable Kristin Stewart of Twilight fame. However, don’t let that stop you from enjoying this simultaneously inspiring, hilarious, and heartbreaking film. Typically, the word “transformative” is reserved for big toothed, Tony Robbins-style self-help hacks, but this film is exactly that—it has changed the way the rite of passage film tackles the rough terrain of first love. Adventureland is for anyone who has ever fallen in love, anyone who hasn’t, and anyone in between.

500 Days of Summer: Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt wow in this austere, beautiful film about unrequited love. As Tom (Gordon-Levitt) remembers his 500 days with Summer (Deschanel), he swings from emotional highs and lows. 500 Days of Summer moves quickly between moments of elation and desperation and features a mind-blowing soundtrack. This movie is movingly honest and, when paired with Adventureland, skillfully captures the myriad of emotions embroiled in romantic endeavor.

Black River Killer EP: Portland indie fave Blitzen Trapper has been slowly gaining popularity in and out of the Northwest. Their new EP single Black River Killer is a haunting narrative that is marks a clear departure from their other work. Released in late August, Black River Killer tells a first person story of a serial killer traveling across the United States. This band oscillates between Grateful Dead-like tonality and storytelling ability unheard since old Dylan work. The EP features six other previously unreleased songs but Black River Killer is a must-hear, you won’t be disappointed.

Mad Men: The 60s sensation is back! Mad Men follows the lives of those at the Sterling Cooper advertising agency, in and out of the office. Its narrative complexity, expert costume design, dynamic characterization and historical bend all contribute to this show garnering worthy reputation as one of the most enthralling shows on TV. In addition to all its unique attributes, the show boasts two things no other show has—Christina Hendricks and Jon Hamm. The casting is superb across the board but these two actors, Hendricks as Joan and Hamm as Don Draper are enough to make tuning in worthwhile. Tune in Monday nights at 9pm on AMC.

Summer may be over, but you can still savor the times of late sunsets, tanlines and driving with the windows down with these music, movie and TV picks. Welcome back!

A Memo From Gonzaga University Administration RE: Swine Flu

Dear Students,

Please do not panic.

As your professors have mentioned, we have set up your classes on Blackboard as a safety measure in the event of imminent swine flu epidemic. Please take all necessary precautions to avoid getting the swine flu including, but not limited to: getting a flu shot, and avoiding eating, drinking, breathing or touching anything on this campus. Rest assured, you will still be able to access the assignments necessary for your class once you are enveloped in unavoidable feverish madness. Indeed, from the comfort of your own quarantined bed in a 19th century-style sanatorium that will be constructed to replace the COG, you can complete web postings, turn in essays and swap notes on the hideous pus extruding from your facial orifices.

But let’s be real. Swine flu is hardly the greatest threat facing this campus. Some of the threats facing us are not immediately quelled by a five-dollar flu shot. Have you ever considered your plan of action in the zombie day of reckoning? Do you know what to do in the event of a doppelganger army takeover? What will happen after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride onto campus? Luckily for you, the University has prepared for all of these looming crises poised to derail our academic year.

Likely, in the near future, this campus, as well as the rest of the country, will be teeming with virtually unstoppable zombies thirsty for brain matter. When this occurs, please visit Crosby Student Center for your Zag Zombie Baseball Bat (all costs charged to your student account). When used deftly, these bulldog-themed aluminum sluggers can provide the cranial-crushing blows necessary to ward off an attacking zombie. Do not try any other method to rid your domain of these vicious creatures. While kicking, punching, yelling or spitting at zombies may seem reasonable, nothing is as effective or satisfying as hearing that familiar splatter of zombie brains fly through the air with ease.

Similarly, when an army of doppelgangers takes over this campus under the cloak of night, it will become a mess of students, faculty, and staff and their ghostly counterparts. Likely, it will be difficult for you to keep a clear mind regarding who everyone is. Once, again, Blackboard will come to your aid, as classes will be held online. When you greet them, make sure you do not allow them access to your Blackboard information. Additionally, make sure to mark yourself showing everyone that you are in fact you, and not your doppelganger. This extra effort will make attendance in class much easier for your teacher, as it will cut down awkwardness when you and your doppelganger reply in unison, “Here.” That is, unless the swine flu has already set in…

Lastly, if you are on campus and you hear the chilling clap of horseshoes you will know it is the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Try not to be afraid of their swinging scythes, black hooded capes and horses’ blood red eyes. These gentle giants are really just misunderstood. Hurt by the recession like many others, these four guys found temp work traveling the globe, dispensing unfortunate news to banished souls regarding their eternal damnation to the boiling cauldron of brimstone, fire and the High School Musical soundtrack known as Hell. Please be advised that you will need to notify your RA in the event of your untimely departure from this earthly realm to avoid penalties including the rescindence of your housing deposit. With each incoming class growing exponentially, we must use our campus housing to its maximum potential.

Hopefully, these tips provide you a moment of calm in a world of imminent threat. Please feel free to send any questions in a scientifically sealed, sanitary envelope to the Office of the President. When one or all of these catastrophes descend upon our beloved campus, DO NOT PANIC. Please utilize this manual and your Blackboard account to ride out the disgusting, life-threatening and horrific calamities predicted for the 2009-2010 academic year. Go Zags.

Sincerely,

Dr. Thayne McCulloh
Interim University President

Hello loyal fans (all 3 of you!) follow me on Twitter @bananalaney for bite-sized morsels of unabashed narcissism!

I promise I will entertain you in fewer than 140 characters.

Cheers,
Hanna

Cheers, Portland

2009

The town of Portland, Oregon and I have a relationship of extremes. That is to say, I am at once enraptured and disgusted, admiring and eye rolling, in love and exasperated. However, I suppose here is neither the time nor the place to go into the greater details of my history with the Rose City.

. . .

I had recently returned home for the summer. The moment was both promising and bittersweet. I was simultaneously on the cusp of an exciting job and an entire season of enjoying my newly minted non-minor status as well as doing the sort of re-evaluation one seems to find a necessary evil at some point(s) in their college career.

The first warm evening of the summer I found myself with nothing to do. With two good hours of sunlight left I rolled my bike onto the MAX and whizzed towards downtown. It would be my first excursion in the city with my new cherry red cruiser, which I had dubbed “Bettie Page,” thinking I was perhaps more clever than I truly was. Decked out in my ultra uncool red helmet and makeshift-reflective seafoam green workout shorts, I was ready to ride.

Once in the heart of the city I pedaled towards the twinkling lights, bustling noise and competing smells of cotton candy, hot dog and carnival pony coming from the waterfront Rose Festival. I gingerly weaved through the crowded bike path, crossing the bridge, watching the city sunset from the east. By this time, my new bike seat seemed less comfortable with each pedal and I pushed back on my coaster brakes and smoothly stopped near an open bench for a break. Slowly removing my helmet, I sat down and rested my feet on my parked bike sitting in front of me, squinting at the sun.

From my solitary seat the cars scooting along the bridges, the festival rides swirling and twirling, and the chatter of people on the bike path behind me provided an intoxicating glimpse into the city’s simultaneous discordance and harmony. I breathed a deep sigh of contentment and soaked in the city around me.

Suddenly, a noise startled me and I was jolted from a relaxed gaze. A man, perhaps in his early 30s met my eyes with a smile. His face was dingy, but not filthy, and he carried a faded backpack and guitar case slung around his shoulder. With one hand he pulled a bottle from a sixpack and set it in my hand, resting on the side of the bench.

“Can I give you a few bucks for this?” I asked, caught off guard by his generosity.

“No, no,” he replied with a chuckle. “Just keep sittin’ and starin’ like you were.”

As I opened the bottle with my shirt folded into my hand I quietly smiled to myself… Only in Portland do the homeless people drink microbrews.

I asked the man what his name was, he said it was Tracy. We chatted briefly, then found ourselves quietly sitting alone on our separate benches. After thanking him I sat back, took a swig from my bottle, and watched the last glimmers of the sun dance on the river water. Tracy and I made eye contact and I raised my bottle in a silent toast.

“Here’s to me,” he said, “and here’s to you.”

At that moment, his concise words seemed perfect. Perfect because the moment seemed to encapsulate what I love best about this city—everyone can simply be themselves. Perhaps this is the type of experience that writers for the New York Times hope to capture in their increasingly frequent articles about the city.

Part of me is excited that people finally see the unique world Portland has to offer, but, at the same time, the rest of me wants the city to remain a quiet treasure. That Sunday night I sat on the bench with my bike, beer and buddy, I experienced the city for what it is—the sights, the sounds, the smells and most importantly, the unique moments of human interaction.

To Portland, I think Tracy said it best… Here’s to me.

And here’s to you.

Summer Plans

Originally published, Bulletin, 2009

As the year comes to a close, we may find ourselves writhing in the emotional doldrums. The economy is in the can, snow flurried on campus in April and various other social maladies continue to pursue us with dogged perseverance. But never fear! There are still some great events yet to come and some simply ridiculous entertainment memories to reconsider.

This year brought the inevitable clash of Britney Spears' circus-like existence and her eponymous comeback album, we saw a greasy Russell Brand offend everyone with both his salacious pseudo-jokes and his preposterous rat's nest hairdo, and a cadre of celebrity crotch shots, not to mention a relatively lackluster year at the Hollywood box office.

While the school year may be coming to a close, the spring and summer entertainment season is just heating up. On-campus events like the Death Cab concert and Madonnastock still loom on the horizon. Also, regional summer events promise entertainment.

On April 24, Death Cab for Cutie will descend upon Gonzaga and headline a long set at McCarthey. Death Cab has gotten the brunt of the publicity but the concert also features Ra Ra Riot and Cold War Kids - two bands that shouldn't go unnoticed. Cold War Kids blend a rock style with a bit of a hipster edge and Ra Ra Riot is an indie rock band that pumps an energetic vibe. See below for info about where they will be playing this summer. I am the first to get in line behind Death Cab but their openers are not to be merely ignored as such. Tuning out during these opening acts in impatience for the main show would be a mistake!

The following day, Gonzaga University tradition Madonnastock will play on Foley Lawn. Last year, the weather cooperated and a bright sunny day ushered in the good, the bad and the hilarious in on-campus bands. Highlights included a jean short-clad Rod Aminian as frontman of Boy Rainbow 2.0. Ok, so maybe the tunes aren't always rockin', but who doesn't love sitting outside and enjoying (even bad) music? With an exceptionally long winter behind us, students campus-wide should be ready for a healthy dose of sunshine.

May 23-25, many will make the trek to the Gorge to see the Sasquatch Music Festival. This ultra-cool 3-day music-a-thon features kickass bands like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Kings of Leon, The Decemberists, Ra Ra Riot, former Spokanite DJ James Pants, Mos Def, TV On the Radio, of Montreal, Erykah Badu, Girl Talk and Santigold … just to name a few. The festival also features comedy from comedians like Todd Barry and The Whitest Kids U'Know. Just go see this thing; it's totally worth it.

If you don't want to travel far, Hoopfest is for you. A Spokane tradition, Hoopfest lines the streets with hundreds of ballers and wannabes playing 4-on-4 games. This year, the tournament is June 27 and 28 and promises the same sort of relaxed atmosphere it brings back year after year. Head downtown to see some of these games, ranging in competitiveness from laid-back to cutthroat.

For those who prefer their entertainment while they sit on the couch, the NBA playoffs are sure to thrill. Normally, I would make some snide remark about the extremely long playoff season or the glacial pace at which teams advance through the tournament, but this year it's different for one reason - the Portland Trail Blazers. You may be saying, "Why would I give a crap about the Blazers?" Well, with the unfortunate demise of the entity formerly known as the Seattle Sonics, the Blazers are geographically the closest thing Spokane has to a "home team" in the NBA. The days of the Jail Blazers are gone and what better way to celebrate the end of the academic year by cracking a cold one and watching Brandon Roy and the boys rock the tourney?

As we draw closer to bidding the 2008-2009 academic year adieu, let's get ready to celebrate with on-campus events and summer fun alike. So get out there and enjoy the sun! Take a study break to catch great on-campus music or set your sights on summer entertainment - either way, you're guaranteed to have a good time.

How MTV Became Cool Without Carson

originally published, Bulletin, 2009

Most of us can remember the days when middle school girls wearing their butterfly clips and their back pocket-less jeans and boys in their polos and cargo shorts hopped off the bus, enjoyed whatever micro­waved snack and religiously flipped the channel to TRL. Or perhaps, we remember entire high school Saturdays filled with "Next" marathons and being able to name the castmates from each season of "Real World." After years of arguing over MTV's relative coolness to "sell out" ratio and their noticeable lack of music videos, we reach a new point.

Today, there is no more "TRL," and "Real World" goes unnoticed in a sea of reality TV; a geriatric pioneer slowly drifting away, and shows like "Next" and "Room Raiders" are reserved solely for drunken 3 a.m. viewing. The current lineup includes shows like "Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory," "Nitro Circus," Justin Timberlake-produced "The Phone."

These shows feature over-the-top stunts, wild re-creation of material dreams, neck-breaking dance moves, and heart-pumping drama . . . at least they're supposed to. With these new shows, as well as the rotating graphics-based identity of the MTV brand, many ask if MTV is regaining their cool.

At first glance, it seems so. The network's seamless integration of music and TV shows forces a top-40 soundtrack to our lives (much to the chagrin of music junkies) and likely provides ample space to drive iTunes downloads. However, it is the new lineup of shows that says a bit more. These shows provide escape.

In tense economic, political and social times, it sometimes seems like worldly woes burden our every thought. Each show offers a unique moment of withdrawal for the viewer in a different way.

"Fantasy Factory" is perhaps the most obvious of these escapist shows, offering both the subjects and the viewer a momentary promise of eternity spent in fantasy life within a pimped-out warehouse. Like his old show and undeniable crowd-pleaser, "Rob & Big," Dyrdek and Co. promise hilarity and outrageousness in 30-minute blocks. Whether Dyrdek is building a massive zipline across the building, enough skateboard ramping to inspire relative awe, or scheming up a new, outlandish fantasy to fulfill, the viewer is sucked into a world where one can remain a child forever. In "Fantasy Factory," looming economic fallout or global warfare stand down to giant inflatable toys and an indoor go-kart track. Like the title says, Dyrdek offers us a fantastical wormhole in which to escape the worries of the world.

Similarly, "Nitro Circus" contributes to the network as a crypto-"Jackass" without the drug-addled Steve-O or ringleader Johnny Knoxville (well, beside their persistent "cam­eos"). Just think of "Nitro Circus" as a "Jackass" with con­siderably fewer liters of vomit. In the show, Travis Pastrana and other BMX riders scour the world in search of the next stunt and thrill.

Years ago, stunt pros like Evel Kneivel captivated audiences with death defying jumps and cannon exits. The members of "Nitro Circus" offer an updated ver­sion of amusement through possibly bone-shattering feats of man and machine. However, unlike Knievel, it seems that the point of "Nitro Circus" is to capture an off-hand crash, burn, explosion or otherwise unfortunate bodily injury. Catering to a more stunt-sensitive audience today, "Nitro Circus" ap­peals to the same kids as Knievel but with a bit less class.

Justin Timberlake's "The Phone," which debuted Saturday night, puts contestants (who apparently have no knowledge of what awaits them) in a game of high-stakes cash prizes in exchange for daring risks at the beckoning call of an anonymous, heavily accented phone operator. Some say the show is merely an "Amazing Race" or "Survivor" remake with JT's face plastered on it. However, I argue the show is about much more than that. In a world where things seem constantly in flux, the idea of an omnipotent higher power (the phone operator, did someone say "Deal or No Deal") commanding seemingly heroic feats of mind and body for a greater goal appeals . . . and indeed holds some serious symbolism.

To some, these shows mean nothing; they simply rep­resent a dumbing-down of American youth, a gluttonous society based on conspicuous spending, or a culture obsessed with bloody injury. However, they seem to provide at least temporary escape from worldly woes and transport us to dif­ferent time, chronological age, or financial means.

Maybe MTV isn't so meaningless after all.

Kicking Out the Old School and Bringing In the New

Media Credit: courtesy of rottentomatoes.com That was then. [Click to enlarge]

Media Credit: courtesy of vanityfair.com This is now [Click to enlarge]

Published, The Bulletin, 2009

Comedy is changing. In an arena previously dominated by the Will Ferrell-Owen Wilson-Vince Vaughn-Luke Wilson powerhouse team, a new crew is taking the spotlight and doing it awkwardly. The grandiose goofballs of olde provided us with hours of entertainment, changing our vernacular to include every linguistic nuance of "Anchorman," "Old School" and "Talladega Nights," forcing us to witness more of a whitey-tighty clad Ferrell than we thought we could ever stomach, and just generally creating a ruckus.


That was old comedy - loud, raucous and vulgar as hell.

Today, though, the movie comedy world is controlled by loveable lads like Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen and Michael Cera. These guys are changing up the game by providing us with incredibly accessible comedy. Where Ferrell and Co. provided us with outlandish characters we could laugh at from afar, Segel, Rudd and Rogen portray people we would like to kick it with. Girls crush on Cera, Rudd and Segel (and maybe, even thought we might not admit it, Rogen) and guys want to be them. In short, awkward is the new hot.

Movies like "I Love You, Man," "Knocked Up," "Superbad" and "Pineapple Express" offer a type of comedy in which the viewer can identify with the characters. Whether we watch Rudd in search of the perfect bromance, Cera pine for teenage love, Segel cry at his piano after a breakup, or Rogen deal with an unplanned pregnancy, we feel like we are watching our friends or even ourselves. These men make us laugh partly because they say the things we think, except they say it funnier.

Rudd and Segel's journey toward bromance in the recently released "I Love You, Man" provides ample evidence of this comedic shift. Segel appears in what has now become his typical role: a laid-back earnest guy with uncannily witty observations on daily life. When we first see the two "slappin' da bass" in Segel's mancave, we want in. The genius of these types of movies is that they revolve around simple guys doing simple stuff. There is a twinge of the old Farrell-esque comedy (cut to scene featuring Lou Ferrigno putting Segel in a sleeperhold) but the brightest moments shine when Rudd and Segel are engaged in awkward banter. Laughs are guaranteed as Rudd makes uncomfortable attempts at nicknaming, settling on the oddly hilarious "Jobin" for Segel. The two lovable dorks are charming.

This same sort of narrative also guides blockbusters like "Superbad," in which the played out teen sex comedy is revived. Cera shines as the sympathetic loser in all his films. Cera has reconstructed the heartthrob to fit today - where tube socks, a large vocabulary and earnest intentions trump washboard abs and a dickish attitude. Comedy used to be about the bad boy, now it's just about the boy next door.

This shift signals a change in the world of the comedy movie, but it may also say something about us that has little to do with film. The shift from outlandish to awkward ushers in an era of the resurgence of the nice guy. Wordsmiths unite, because in this world of new comedy, you are the kings and queens. No longer is someone's comedic value based on the decibel count of their yell, their ability to crack beer cans on their head, or anything of the sort. Today, a well-said joke has legs.

Undoubtedly, this new change is here to stay.

South By Southwest unrivaled in scope and credibility

published, Gonzaga Bulletin 2009

Media Credit: courtesy of kalamu.com The Blue Scholars, a hip-hop group with Northwest roots, who dropped beats on the front steps of Crosby last fall, also lit up the stage in the South By Southwest festival. [Click to enlarge]

Media Credit: courtesy of freeringtones365.net Above: The Cold War Kids (above), participants in South By Southwest, will visit Gonzaga in April along with Death Cab for Cutie and Ra Ra Riot. [Click to enlarge]

Last Sunday marked the end of the eight-day music festival South By Southwest (SXSW), which has become colloquially known as being the coolest music festival this side of Woodstock. While the event itself actually features music, interactive art and film, it is best known for bringing the hippest indie bands together for a week of mind-blowing live music in Austin, Texas.

Music, what SXSW has been steadily becoming known for, started on Thursday and went through Sunday with multiple venues featuring a blowout lineup of hundreds of performers. The schedule included performances from well-known artists and bands like Third Eye Blind, Rick Ross and Ben Harper. The list also included many bands merely on the cusp of their burgeoning success including: Blue Scholars (noted Northwest favorite), Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, Starfucker, Cold War Kids (who will be traveling to Gonzaga in late April with Death Cab), Peter, Bjorn and John, P.O.S. Gomez, Andrew Bird, Explosions in the Sky, and Dead Prez. The exhausting list of artists included music from a multitude of genres including rock, alternative, singer-songwriter, electronic, DJ and hip-hop.

The festival even included perennial throw-down joke band The Oak Ridge Boys as well as the ridiculously side-ponytailed female MC Lady Sovereign.

SXSW has been putting on a festival since 1987, and has grown in popularity, especially within the last five to 10 years. The festival is held every year in Austin and has become a cultural icon for superstars and hopeful bands to come together, providing attendees intimate and unparalleled access to live music performance.

In both scope and credibility, SXSW is unrivaled. Many speculate on the reasons for the festival's success, and it is largely based on three separate elements. First, SXSW offers a uniquely largely cross-section of current music, without most of the fluff that seems to pass for popular music. Second, the festival creates not just entertainment but an experience, tapping into the wealth of the blogging community. Last, SXSW is just good, old-fashioned fun.

The ability of SXSW to draw a massive variety of bands now is undoubtedly related to its growing reputation as the source for legit music. However, it was simple hard work and word-of-mouth that led to its success.

The layout of the festival is not like your typical outdoor music festivals such as Sasquatch, Bumbershoot and Coachella. SXSW features multiple venues around Austin (which now holds the record for most original music nightclubs in a concentrated area than any other city in the world, according to its Web site) and each club has a set schedule of performers for each day. Some clubs are 21 and older; others are not.

The main way in which SXSW attracts fans now is by taking advantage of the highly important, yet largely under-the-radar power of the independent music blogosphere. By utilizing the enormous power of the online music community through both a powerful blog of their own as well as imbedded outside bloggers before and during the festival, SXSW directors exhibit a fascinating literacy in the way to amass power in a changing society.

SXSW organizers know their audience to be an intensely Internet-oriented group and have mastered the way to communicate with them and legitimize the festival in Internet circles which hold sway over powerful social opinion of independent music. If the Internet is the vehicle by which powerful entities grow, it seems only fitting that the enormously powerful SXSW exhibits a textbook skill in mastering the independent music world.

The last way SXSW flexes its social muscle is simply by providing ample opportunity to listen to great music in a fun environment. Austin provides a cultural backdrop ripe for a good time. With great weather, young residents and visitors, tons of music venues and bars and a distinctly international feel within a relatively small city, Austin has it all. With the University of Texas right in the city, the vibe is young and diverse. Additionally, people from all over the world come to play and listen at SXSW. Performers and attendees hail from Oklahoma City to Tokyo and everywhere in between. SXSW and Austin are so indelibly tied that it seems pertinent to ask which came first, the proverbial chicken or the egg?

SXSW provides music lovers, music newbies, and independent spirits a perfect opportunity to see their favorite bands and even hear some new stuff. Bands descend upon the city for one week a year to rock the music scene's socks off. Tickets are pricey but one thing is for sure - everyone should make the trek to see SXSW live at least once in their lives. For more information visit www.SXSW.com.

Hey, It's Cool, You Can Bring Your Green Fedora

Helping you get prepped for the artistic part of Spokane's 'First Friday'

published, Gonzaga Bulletin 2009

Media Credit: Hanne Zak The inside of Art, Music and More has a well-lit and intimate setting conducive for photgraph and art perusing. [Click to enlarge]

Media Credit: Hanne Zak Teapot ladies, tentacled ladies, the Empyrean will feature art by Mariko Sullivan and Tiffany Patterson this Friday. [Click to enlarge]

Media Credit: Hanne Zak Jundt continues its Violence! exhibit through April 4 [Click to enlarge]

Media Credit: Hanne Zak Jim Kolva hangs a Sandy Ayars watercolor in preparation for First Friday. [Click to enlarge]

Media Credit: Hanne Zak A sampling of the pottery featured at Mark Moore and Chris Kelsey's Trackside Studios [Click to enlarge]

To some, publicly exhibited art seems to exist in a confusing, alternate world where bespectacled ladies and gentlemen go to sip chardonnay and hear themselves talk about whether splattered paint is a sign of their rotting postmodern existence or whether a milk jug with a knife in it speaks to an existential notion of uselessness … or something equally pretentious. Outside of the world of monocles and monogrammed handkerchiefs, art galleries conjure images of a stark white room with a small painted canvas hanging on the wall, its meaning elusive to the viewer, prompting them to return to their world of Pabst Blue Ribbon and reality TV, chalking the entire experience up to a befuddling fluke.

However, here in Spokane, many places are turning that stereotype on its head by offering cool, calm, unpretentious spaces to explore art of different kinds. For those who cannot recognize Klimt from Kirchner, Jasper Johns from Georgia O'Keefe or watercolor from acrylic, art galleries and studios like Art, Music and More, Kolva-Sullivan, Jundt Art Museum, and Trackside Studio invite art neophytes and experts alike to experience different mediums of visual art.

Additionally, cafes like the Empyrean and hipster hangout Baby Bar/Neato Burrito offer the chance to experience art while chowing or guzzling your way to contentment. Sometimes, puzzlingly, it appears like there is some sort of invisible force field between campus and downtown. However, a quick jaunt over the river toward downtown promises a new, fun way to view art.

Many of these cafes, galleries and studios participate in Spokane's hidden gem - First Friday. Like its homonymic relatives in other cities, is a specific time when local art exhibitors can show their work to the wider public in a fun, community-oriented event. The first Friday of every month, most of Spokane's downtown galleries (and a few in the Garland area) open their doors to eager art viewers. The event has amassed quite the following and is a certifiable must-do before your tenure at Gonzaga comes to a close.

Here's a look at some of Spokane's coolest art spaces:

Arts, Music and More

OK, so their name may not scream "awesome!" but Art, Music and More is an eclectic, loft-like space where music, painting, ceramics, jewelry design and crafts come together in a laidback environment. With exposed brick walls and a quaint, intimate live music stage in the back, AM&M exhibits art for sale, created by local artists. I first came to AM&M for a live music set (shout-out to GU student Kevin Vance for performing) and was surprised by their highly accessible artwork. Their exhibited pieces were displayed for the public in a way that was both inviting and unpretentious. Whether you go to AM&M for live music or visual arts, you will not be disappointed with the relaxed environment and the access to local artists' work. AM&M is located at 608 W. 2nd Ave.

Jundt Art

Many people on campus know the Jundt Museum as the dark building on the other side of campus that they have never been in. With its "museum" designation, Jundt is rumored to be an enigmatic place where stuffy art is exhibited - if it is even mentioned at all. While the museum's ultra-cool and locally acclaimed exhibit "Violence!" just recently closed, the senior thesis exhibit will be coming into the museum within the month. The senior thesis exhibit is a great way to experience art in a traditional museum setting while simultaneously supporting the work of our fellow students. The exact content of the exhibit remains to be seen, given the individualistic nature of the art department thesis program. However, the contents are sure to please. The Jundt Art Museum can be found between Jepson and Dussault.

The Empyrean

This chill coffeehouse has come to be known over the last two-and-a-half years for offering a quiet place to study or read if you're suffering from campus fever. However, not only do they offer delicious coffee drinks and decadent pastries, The Empyrean also features a vast array of cool paintings and ceramics created by local artists. Many times, according to the Empyrean staff, art comes from people who just like to kick it at the coffeehouse. The Empyrean also offers poetry readings, dramatic performances and live music. In fact, Gonzaga students will be putting on a play titled "American Buffalo" that runs at the venue April 23-26. The Empyrean is a great place to hang out and a perfect spot for dipping your toe into the proverbial waters of the art world. The Empyrean participates in First Friday and can be found at 154 S. Madison Street.

Kolva-Sullivan

Kolva-Sullivan is an intimate, funky gallery that features a wide variety of different art on a rotating schedule. This week, a show of watercolors by local artist Sandy Ayars moves in. Kolva-Sullivan participates in First Friday, and today will mark the opening of Ayars' first solo show in Spokane. Her beautiful and vibrant watercolors focus on beauty in nature. Her work features a notably relatable theme, as we all experience nature in our daily lives and her pieces have been described as "transforming the mundane into an artistic story."

While the studio is a working business that sells art, owner Jim Kolva describes the gallery as, at its core, "a space for artists." Sometimes the shows at Kolva-Sullivan are political, sometimes they are ecological, sometimes they are psychological - but they seem to be always relatable. The vibe when I spoke to Kolva was relaxed, yet informative, an ethos that seems to permeate the space. Kolva-Sullivan is the perfect place to go if you want to learn more about the art you are seeing in an inquisitive environment, or if you are an artist yourself looking to speak with knowledgeable staff about deeper meanings in visual art. It's a refuge from the derelict atmosphere outside of the gallery. Kolva-Sullivan is located at 115 S. Adams.

Trackside Studios

In the same building as Kolva-Sullivan, Trackside Studio is a ceramics studio and gallery featuring the works of Mark Moore and Chris Kelsey. One of the owners, Moore, is a graduate of GU. The space, with high ceilings and large open front windows, is a bright and inviting place to check out pottery and sculpture. Upon entering, it seemed like a place made for young people. Music played in the background and I asked myself, "Is this one of my Pandora stations?" and the staff was amiable, helpful and not snobbish in the least. Trackside is a good place for budding artists to go to see art being made in a relaxed, open environment.

When I walked into Trackside, it was evident that they were preparing for First Friday and falling quickly behind. "It's hard to keep a pottery shop clean," explained Chris. Unfortunately for Chris, the Thursday snowfall had drawn his partner Mike to the mountains, so he was left to fend for himself. And he had a lot of work to do. Lucky for me, some of the pottery had already been assembled and arranged, so I was able to take in a fairly august preview of what was to come. Expect arrangements of upper-echelon pottery that will soon be imitated inside of your IKEA and Pier 1 Imports catalogue. Trackside is located at 115 S. Adams.


If you're bored of the same stale house parties, the eardrum-blasting party music and the incessant beer pong - or if you're simply up for some variety - try something new. Head out to Spokane's First Friday to see some local art in inviting, warm, unpretentious galleries and enjoy the community. You will undoubtedly meet some great people, expose yourself to new art and experience a side of Spokane you may have never seen before.

Watching For Watchmen’s Zach Snyder

published, Gonzaga Bulletin 2009

With the upcoming release of the highly anticipated, end-of-days epic Watchmen, film junkies and graphic novel gurus are abuzz with fervent expectation for what will most likely be an undeniably successful blockbuster hit. Zach Snyder, the man who brought you such gore-fests as 300 and Dawn of the Dead, unveils his newest brainchild to the world this Friday.

While many people know about Watchmen, many do not know director Zach Snyder as a household name. He is a relatively young Hollywood director, but, in his short tenure as one of the reigning directing giants, he has made his mark on both cinematic and commercial genres. Devoted followers credit him with a so-called “cinematic wide-screen style”, creating an intensely saturated aesthetic.

Snyder’s fansite characterizes his work as, “landscapes with a painter’s sense of light and color… combin[ing] powerful storytelling with a compelling sense of place.” It may come as no surprise, then, to know that Snyder studied at London’s Heatherlies School, where he was trained in painting. Later, he attended the prestigious Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, California.

Like many directors, Snyder has accrued a following of disciples, devoted to his panoramic aesthetic and larger-than-life visual ethos.

One thing is for sure when watching a Snyder film, the viewer is immersed in what has been called a “big screen look,” which can be alternately engrossing and horrifying depending on the film. This also plays a part in his commercial work with noted companies like Gatorade, Subaru, Nissan, BMW and Budweiser, making the product the center of what critics have likened “a visual assault”.

Snyder is most well known for the Spartan epic, 300. Snyder’s visually gluttonous aesthetic features splattering blood and spit, as well as enough heads lopped off to make the French Revolution look like amateur hour. Unapologetically making little attempt to be historically accurate, Snyder pushes the viewer into a dream-like world of epic fighting between villains and heroes seemingly sizeable enough to move mountains.

Some critics panned 300 for almost numbingly frequent outbursts of bloody violence, taking away from the viewer’s ability to be fully engrossed in the film. Many viewers, however, do not care and have come to welcome Snyder as a purveyor of borderline pornographic violence with buckets of fake blood smeared from here to Thermopylae.

Snyder’s other famous work, Dawn of the Dead amassed a cult following of its own. While not a true remake of either George Romero’s 1978 horror Night of the Living Dead or the cult classic 28 Days, Snyder infused his same gory carnage. As the undead descend upon the last vestiges of “pure” humanity, Snyder presents us with cerebellum-hungry undead soccer moms and middle-management goobers, the unharmonious birth of a demonic, zombie fetus and rotting flesh galore. One critic characterized the zombies as, “deliciously rotting and pukey,” and one couldn’t agree more. Snyder’s job is done as the viewer walks out of the theater, stomach churning, on the verge of some reverse peristalsis of his or her own.

Not everyone is a Snyder fan and many critics agree that, aside from his visual style, he lacks an ability to direct quality screenwriting. Like a proverbial male model, a Snyder film looks great… but not so much with the talking.

Critics' opinions aside, it is undeniable that Snyder presents not just a movie but a visual experiential moment. With the debut of Watchmen on the horizon, Snyder’s choice to portray graphic novels as films is clear. His style melds the impossible and the possible, bridges fantasy and reality, and draws the viewer into shared sensory overload.

If you are one of the millions of people who will see the upcoming Watchmen, you will likely not be disappointed. Just as his other movies have, Snyder’s films will continue to awe, impress and disturb. Other movies simply beckon you to watch; Snyder’s films punch you in the gut, tie you up and make you forget your own name.

How the Republicans and Democrats Used History at Their Conventions

originally published by the History News Network, Election Season 2008

In this election season, it seems that the point cannot be made forcefully enough by pundits, delegates, supporters, candidates and other members of the political swirl that we are at a historical turning point: breaking with tradition with the first black Presidential nominee and only the second female Vice Presidential nominee of a major party. With all this talk of history being made, the way candidates and their supporters seek to use history to their benefit is often overlooked. A review of the transcripts of this summer's conventions reveals that one of the most common practices has been to borrow the heroes of the opposing party to discredit it.

The Democrats, at their Denver convention, frequently referred to heroes from the Republican Party's past in an attempt to discredit the current party. Retired Rear Admiral John Hutson, in his speech supporting Barack Obama, indicated that he barely recognized his old party: "The Republican Party I once knew has become something different, something I no longer recognize.” By paying tribute to the most admired accomplishments of the G.O.P., the speakers sought to expose what they believed to be a failure of modern Republicans to uphold their legacy.

Congressman Rahm Emanuel (D-IL), speaking of what he believed to be the failures of President George W. Bush, quoted Ronald Reagan in defense of his argument, using one of The Gipper's most famous lines against his putative heir: “In the 2006 election, Democrats, Independents, and even some Republicans scored a victory that President Bush himself called ‘a thumpin'.’ Well, Mr. President, as Ronald Reagan used to say, ‘you ain't seen nothing yet’.”

Former Congressman Jim Leach (R-IA) spoke of the progressive efforts of Republicans Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower, in a further attempt to suggest that the current Republican Party had grown distant from its roots:

[The Republican Party] includes Republicans like Teddy Roosevelt, who built up the National Parks system and broke down corporate monopolies, and Dwight David Eisenhower, who ran on a pledge to end a war in Korea, brought a stop to European colonial intervention in the Middle East, quietly integrated the Washington, D.C. school system and not so quietly sent the 101st Airborne to Little Rock to squash segregation in public schools throughout the country.

By exalting grand successes of historic Republicans, Leach attempted to highlight alleged failures of Republicans today.

Susan Eisenhower, the granddaughter of Dwight Eisenhower, spoke of the divide between yesterday and today, in regards to Republican policy and action. In her words,

Once during the Eisenhower administration, Ike was under fire from his critics for moving too slowly in responding to political pressure. After a visit to the Oval Office by Robert Frost, the famous American poet sent the president a note: “the strong,” he wrote, “are saying nothing until they see.”

By highlighting the prudence of that characterized Eisenhower as President, she attempted to convey the message that the modern Republican Party behaved with a lack of prudence. She continued, “Let us restore the hope and bring the change that our nation so desperately needs.” While the themes of “hope” and “change” were certainly emphasized in almost every speech at the Democratic convention, the Democrats hoped they would ring truer coming from the progeny of one of America’s most well known Republicans.

Citizens involved in the American Voices Program also spoke of the difference between historic and contemporary Republicans. One speaker, Pamela Cash-Roper, elaborated, saying, “I’m a lifelong Republican who voted for Nixon, Reagan, Bush and Bush. But I can’t afford four more years like this.”

Not to be outdone, Republicans also used the opposing party’s historical figures to score points. But in their case, history was used to reassure Americans that Sarah Palin was up to the tasks of the high office to which she had been nominated. Most frequently they invoked Harry Truman's name in defense of Palin.

Palin herself cited Truman in an attempt to reassure Americans that someone with her background in rural America could perform admirably: “Long ago, a young haberdasher from Missouri, he followed an unlikely path to the vice presidency." She then attempted to compare her life to that of Truman, saying, “A writer observed: ‘We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty, sincerity, and dignity.’ I know just the kind of people that writer had in mind when he praised Harry Truman. I grew up with those people.” By positioning herself as a kind of “everywoman” she hoped to borrow some of his luster as America's "everyman." In what has become one of her most famous lines from the convention, she remarked: “I was just your average hockey mom, and signed up for the PTA because I wanted to make my kids' public education better.”

It was a neat historical swap. In 1948 the Republican "elitist" Thomas Dewey had been defeated by Truman, the everyman. Now Republicans were using their own "everywoman" to discredit a candidate they decried as an elitist.

A neat trick--if people buy it.

Killing Angels: Martyrdom, Spirits and the Business of Symbolic Death

written for history class, 2008

What does one think of when the word “angel” is mentioned?

Perhaps, one sees an image of a cherubic, pudgy-cheeked, rosy-skinned infant or a curvaceous blonde draped in finest silks ascending towards the heavens guided by gilded ivory wings. Likely, the mind does not first conjure an image of a haggard, bearded, middle-aged man of towering stature lying slumped forward in a spectator seat of Ford’s Theater with a noticeable chunk of cerebral matter missing. Upon the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, the populous of the United States (especially in the Northern states) began to associate Lincoln as a man and president with a higher meaning, a higher power, and indeed, a higher standard- a veritable angel, sent from God. Immediately following his death, newspapers ran sensational headlines and cartoon-style homages to the fallen leader. By careful examination of these papers and images, it becomes abundantly clear that Lincoln’s death transformed him from politician to demigod. Biblical allusion, attenuated metaphors regarding the Lincoln’s “guiding” influence and villainous media portrayal of John Wilkes Booth indicate a fervent opinion regarding Lincoln’s role in the cohesion of a union divided. Through examination of newspaper accounts immediately following his death, Abraham Lincoln was imaged as martyr, patriarch, savior and soul of the United States.

It becomes imperative to note, regarding sentiments about Lincoln’s death, the
seemingly unanimous nature of the populous’ feelings. On May 5th, 1865, the New York
Times ran a piece about the assassination, stating,

“Those national emblems, thousands in number, but yesterday floating proudly in the breeze, are lowered to half-mast, to mourn the loss of one dearly loved by all. Every house became one of mourning, none were found here so depraved as to refuse to condemn the act of the assassin, and all breathed but one sentiment that the deceased was an honest man.”

This unanimity reached across class and racial divide, as, in New Orleans, “Sixty thousand people assembled on the public streets to give vent to their public grief- not the least among them was found the colored race.” While people of all skin colors lamented the loss of their leader, solidarity amongst members of different social classes emerged as well. “It was the universal grief,” Harper’s Weekly reported, “that so heavily draped our streets. Not only the mansions of the rich, but the squalid hovels of the poor put on the habit of mourning.” The muddling of class divides indicates the extent to which Lincoln had become embedded in the fabric of the union. His death was recorded as, “a personal blow to every faithful American household.” The fact that one could plausibly claim that the death of one man touched every American household seems enough to show that Lincoln’s stature in society was not merely that of a removed president or war general, but of a man personally effecting millions of people.

Lincoln’s effect on the masses was also portrayed nicely in an illustration from Harper’s Weekly . As Lincoln’s coffin lies in front of sturdy, solid pillars, Lady Liberty kneels nearby, weeping, overcome by grief. With the American flag clutched in her hand, she embraces the coffin, signifying the connection between Lincoln and the livelihood of the United States. Around the name on the coffin there emanates glowing light, as if to indicate an influence reaching beyond temporal, socially constructed divisions. That distinctly different social and racial groups came together to mourn his death is an integral piece in understanding the seemingly extreme manner in which Lincoln was eulogized publicly, immediately following his death.

One significant way in which the American people remembered Lincoln was as a paternal figure, guiding the nation through rough times, leading the people with keen wisdom. Upon his death, the April 29th, 1865 issue of Harper’s Weekly reported, “and in his death it is not a party that loses a head, but a country that deplores a father.” The idea of Lincoln as the American patriarch permeated, as he was remembered (without irony) as, “holding the nation together through its darkest hours.” While he was the literal father of four children, he garnered a position in the collective mind of the country he left behind in death as a metaphorical, even metaphysical, father figure.

The “Lincoln-as-father” idea was not only found in the articles of the contemporary newspapers, but also in the images used to supplement the coverage of his death. In one illustration in the famous Harper’s Weekly , Lincoln was shown with his young son, Tad. As an aged Lincoln looks on, Tad stands at his side, intently laying his gaze upon the book in Lincoln’s lap as Lincoln turns a page. This picture creates a nice metaphor for Lincoln as the father figure of the nation, turning the pages of American history as a proud and diligent people look on. This picture, and indeed its underlying meaning, was a clear facet of the manner in which people eulogized the president publicly, as it ran the week after his death. Much like a young child without a parent, America is portrayed as an eager but young, entity without their guiding influence. But the nation did not stop at showing Lincoln as a father figure, and further images and metaphors were created that put Lincoln in a religious light.

Upon his death, newspapers immediately began using language and imagery that portrayed him as a savior and martyr of the nation, pulling it back from the brink of entire collapse. Spiritual and religious undertones circulated in the accounts of his death. Harper’s Weekly again reported, “The dust of our great leader, kissed to rest, and folded to our hearts, is there interned, beyond the breath of scandal, in sweet peace. Wounded with his wound, our hearts receive the mantle of his spirit as it flies.” The biblical reference (“ashes to ashes, dust to dust”) sparks an image of a person ordained by God for some sort of earthly mission. This image of Lincoln was countered by a devilish image of John Wilkes Booth and his actions. In The Chicago Tribune, the collision of good and evil was explored, as it was said, “President Lincoln, whose life was covered with glory by his faithfulness to his country, has ascended to his God. Pale in death, murdered by the hellish spirit of slavery, his body lies at the nation’s capital- a new sacrifice upon our country’s altar.” Lincoln assumes, in this text, the role of sacrificial lamb. It seems as though this sort of eulogy wording was perhaps heavy-handed in its estimation. However, other articles spoke quite literally about a connection between the messianic tale of Jesus on the cross and Lincoln’s death at Ford’s Theater.

To equate Lincoln with Jesus may seem far-fetched or sensationalized, but it was said, “He has sealed his service to his country by the last sacrifice. On the day that commemorates the great sorrow which Christendom reveres, the man who had no thought, no wish, no hope but the salvation of his country laid down his life.” Talk of an “ultimate sacrifice” was not fully fleshed out, as even more explicitly stated words were to follow. “It is the world’s old story, told again,” it was written, “that they who bruise the venomed head must bear, even as Christ did, its last foul sting, taking the savior’s passion with his crown.” Muddled metaphors thrown away, the newspaper directly correlated Lincoln’s death with Christ’s final act of faith. In both the press coverage of Lincoln’s death and in the collective mind of the American people, Abraham Lincoln had died a martyr, a savior of the union.

But the Biblical references did not cease there. Taking from another famous Biblical allegory, Lincoln was compared to Moses in a fusion of both his perceived image as a father figure and savior. In what can best be described as the climax of fervent Lincoln analogizing, it was said, “Like Moses, he had marched with us through the wilderness. From the height of patriotic vision he beheld the golden fields of the future waving in peace.” This quote encapsulated all three major themes in how the country began to memorialize Lincoln. First, the Biblical reference to Moses indicates the idea that Lincoln was somehow closer to God as a living man, given a divine purpose to guide the nation as the benevolent patriarch. Secondly, it says the “height of patriotic vision”, indicating that Lincoln was somehow of a higher intellectual plane, able to decipher the complex code of saving the union. Lastly, Lincoln is imaged as seeing “the golden fields of the future” as if to show that he had undoubtedly ascended to heaven was gazing down upon his country from the right hand of God. Lincoln emerged from these sort of memorials as a divine patriarch who had guided the nation as a politician and would continue to do so as an ascended spirit. However, the image was not completed without a complementing image of evil to act as a foil to the heavenly Lincoln.

In both words and images, John Wilkes Booth garnered a reputation as a villainous character. The Chicago Tribune reported in a headline, “Terrible news. President Lincoln assassinated at Ford’s Theater. A rebel desperado shoots him through the head and escapes.” Booth as the “rebel desperado” was used as a counterpoint to the divine image of Lincoln. In the minds of the American people, only a true scoundrel would murder the president in cold blood. This image was furthered by the wanted posters, which circulated the nation, offering a reward for Booth. In this poster, large bold type offers reward for “THE MURDERER” of “ our beloved president”. By using the word “murderer” juxtaposed with “beloved”, it puts the villain Booth in direct opposition to the angelic Lincoln, creating a battle between good and evil.

Even in smaller newspapers the theme of good and evil permeated. In Burlington, Iowa, a story ran saying, “That our most kind, lenient and magnanimous chief magistrate has been stricken down while in the exercise of his high office, by the bloody hand of the assassin, the climax of rebel crime, a martyr to the cause which lies dearest to the hearts of the people.” In this paper, the murder of Lincoln would only be reasonably justified by characterizing Booth as a “rebel”, clearly disregarding the ethos and moralities of the American union. By using the words “bloody hand”, Booth is portrayed as a devilish character who assumed full blame for the martyring of Lincoln. In a final characterization of Booth, it was reported that, “The assassin then leaped upon the stage brandishing a large dagger or knife…” By imaging Booth as a crazed man, armed and dangerous, he loses the human quality and takes on a slightly depraved, maybe even animalistic appearance. His craven image contrasts perfectly with the morally and socially elevated image of Lincoln as seraphim.

Abraham Lincoln’s death catapulted him into a posthumous image simultaneously as guiding father, selfless martyr and angelic savior. As the American people began to make sense of the assassination, newspaper and magazine accounts of Lincoln’s death and immediate legacy transformed him from human to demigod. Through metaphor, Biblical allusion, illustrated imagery and vulcanization of John Wilkes Booth, Lincoln’s death elevated him morally, ideologically and socially and placed him deep in the hearts and minds of his contemporaries.