Many students on campus will remember last Sunday as nothing more than “that day I caught up on homework” or “that day before Monday.” However, I hope to remember it as much more than that. Last Sunday, September 27th, we lost one of the greatest masters of language, William Safire. While Safire’s inflammatory political past as a speechwriter for Richard Nixon likely stands in the way of garnering unanimous support, his faithfulness to intentional writing remains largely unrivaled.
In the mass of tweets, texts and status updates, many wordsmiths feel forlorn amongst the LOLs and the OMGs. Safire’s contrarian existence among the op-ed staff of the New York Times was only a glimmer of what made him so special. His keen observations of our relationship with the words that shape our world in his column “On Language,” remain a staggering collective masterpiece in a life characterized by an insatiably minute attention to the English language.
As a young, aspiring writer and self-professed “word nerd,” I long for Safire’s wit, immense vocabulary and inspiring belief in the power of words and their infinite combinations. Though his life was shaped by international political and physical breakdowns and buildups of centuries-long institutions, Safire never forgot the proportional gravity and power of the written word.
While we may not all agree with the content of his pieces, we must acknowledge his masterful grasp of our language. As we move closer to a world where our written exchanges are limited to 140 characters, I hope we will all try to be more intentional, deliberate and thoughtful in how we use the myriad of words bestowed upon us. Although Safire himself will no longer be around to chastise those “nattering nabobs of negativism,” he will always be present as writers everywhere delight in picking the perfect word.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Modern Day Rain Dance
Published, Bulletin, 2009
Typically by this time in the year, Gonzaga students find themselves breaking out their sweaters, trying to squeeze into last year’s jeans and sipping on hot coffee drinks again. However, Mother Nature has chosen to bequeath us with a bevy of sunshine and sweltering classrooms deep into the heart of September. Yes, it is nice outside. However, as a true Northwest native, I can’t help but yearn for a blustery day.
The idea of a “rain dance” is certainly not foreign to our collective consciousness. However, times have changed, and buckskin drums have been replaced with almost unnoticeable earphones blasting ninety-nine cent tunes. I have decided to put on my own rain dance of sorts, replete with dreary-weather-inducing tunes. As I stroll to class feeling uncomfortable in my shorts and tank top, hoping I will stop sweating before I reach the 4th floor of Admin (it will always be Admin in my heart), I plug in and hope for gray. Here are the songs that can put you in that blustery mindset, even if the weather outside disagrees.
Old College Try, The Mountain Goats: In this uber-depressing cut from their 2002 album Tallahassee, The Mountain Goats know how to make love lost poignant and perhaps even funny. This simultaneously catchy and soul-crushing song features the genius description of a relationship mess, offering, “Like a trashcan fire in a prison cell/ Like the searchlights in the parking lots of hell/ I will walk down to the end with you/ If you will come all the way down with me.” Put this in your ear when you wish you were curling up and snuggling down on a cold day.
Skinny Love, Bon Iver: Maybe it’s just the story of this band’s genesis that necessitates this Bon Iver’s place in the pantheon of bad weather music. Bandleader Justin Vernon found refuge in a winter Wisconsin cabin and recorded one of the most intimate, complex and unique sounding records in recent memory. While other tracks, including Flume and re:Stacks are equally great, this song is best for the long walk to class on Mondays.
Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing, Magnetic Fields: Most. Genius. Band. Ever. This song is both adorable and brilliant. Magnetic Fields is the perfect way to coax the gray day out from hiding. The music is both peppy and smooth and the lyrics include this gem, which may be one of my favorite lines of all time, “And nothing matters when we're dancing / In tat or tatters you're entrancing / Be we in Paris or in Lansing/ Nothing matters when we're dancing.” From their epic 69 Love Songs 3-CD project, this song is sure to be a good bet as the sun beats down on your face and you long for a cloud in the sky.
Nobody Knows Me At All, The Weepies: Don’t let the band fool you; this awesome group’s music is not as depressing as their name suggests. This song is particularly appropriate as an iPod cut, where earphones isolate you in your own audio world. Roll out knits, hoodies and boots; this short ditty is the perfect cap to a playlist that beckons the fall weather.
Perhaps you are a sun-worshipper, soaking up these extra rays of the Indian summer. If you wish for a cooler day to mix it up put on these songs to coax a stubborn raindrop from even the sunniest Spokane days.
Typically by this time in the year, Gonzaga students find themselves breaking out their sweaters, trying to squeeze into last year’s jeans and sipping on hot coffee drinks again. However, Mother Nature has chosen to bequeath us with a bevy of sunshine and sweltering classrooms deep into the heart of September. Yes, it is nice outside. However, as a true Northwest native, I can’t help but yearn for a blustery day.
The idea of a “rain dance” is certainly not foreign to our collective consciousness. However, times have changed, and buckskin drums have been replaced with almost unnoticeable earphones blasting ninety-nine cent tunes. I have decided to put on my own rain dance of sorts, replete with dreary-weather-inducing tunes. As I stroll to class feeling uncomfortable in my shorts and tank top, hoping I will stop sweating before I reach the 4th floor of Admin (it will always be Admin in my heart), I plug in and hope for gray. Here are the songs that can put you in that blustery mindset, even if the weather outside disagrees.
Old College Try, The Mountain Goats: In this uber-depressing cut from their 2002 album Tallahassee, The Mountain Goats know how to make love lost poignant and perhaps even funny. This simultaneously catchy and soul-crushing song features the genius description of a relationship mess, offering, “Like a trashcan fire in a prison cell/ Like the searchlights in the parking lots of hell/ I will walk down to the end with you/ If you will come all the way down with me.” Put this in your ear when you wish you were curling up and snuggling down on a cold day.
Skinny Love, Bon Iver: Maybe it’s just the story of this band’s genesis that necessitates this Bon Iver’s place in the pantheon of bad weather music. Bandleader Justin Vernon found refuge in a winter Wisconsin cabin and recorded one of the most intimate, complex and unique sounding records in recent memory. While other tracks, including Flume and re:Stacks are equally great, this song is best for the long walk to class on Mondays.
Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing, Magnetic Fields: Most. Genius. Band. Ever. This song is both adorable and brilliant. Magnetic Fields is the perfect way to coax the gray day out from hiding. The music is both peppy and smooth and the lyrics include this gem, which may be one of my favorite lines of all time, “And nothing matters when we're dancing / In tat or tatters you're entrancing / Be we in Paris or in Lansing/ Nothing matters when we're dancing.” From their epic 69 Love Songs 3-CD project, this song is sure to be a good bet as the sun beats down on your face and you long for a cloud in the sky.
Nobody Knows Me At All, The Weepies: Don’t let the band fool you; this awesome group’s music is not as depressing as their name suggests. This song is particularly appropriate as an iPod cut, where earphones isolate you in your own audio world. Roll out knits, hoodies and boots; this short ditty is the perfect cap to a playlist that beckons the fall weather.
Perhaps you are a sun-worshipper, soaking up these extra rays of the Indian summer. If you wish for a cooler day to mix it up put on these songs to coax a stubborn raindrop from even the sunniest Spokane days.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
A Smattering of Summer
The Bulletin, 2009
That perennial time has come again when returning students scuffle around campus in hurried steps, cinder blocks move to and fro and the year begins again. For three months, we have wandered aimlessly, you and I, untethered in the world of entertainment. It’s good to be back. As a welcome back of sorts, let’s take a look down memory lane. This summer brought us great movies, revolutionary music and TV that means something.
Movies like Adventureland and 500 Days of Summer touched our hearts, taught us how to re-live our own awkward adolescences and better understand the ups and downs of love, lust and growing up. Blitzen Trapper released a groundbreaking EP and Mad Men returned with more surprises.
Adventureland: OK, so this movie was technically released in April, but since I saw it in a second-run pub theater this summer, I am counting it as a summer movie. In Greg Mottola’s coming-of-age tale, the loveable, awkward, sonnet-loving James Brennan (deftly portrayed by Jesse Eisenberg) finds himself employed at the apex of nihilist nothingness—the Adventureland theme park, and finds himself falling for the gorgeous, yet troubled Em. Yes, this movie does feature the abominable Kristin Stewart of Twilight fame. However, don’t let that stop you from enjoying this simultaneously inspiring, hilarious, and heartbreaking film. Typically, the word “transformative” is reserved for big toothed, Tony Robbins-style self-help hacks, but this film is exactly that—it has changed the way the rite of passage film tackles the rough terrain of first love. Adventureland is for anyone who has ever fallen in love, anyone who hasn’t, and anyone in between.
500 Days of Summer: Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt wow in this austere, beautiful film about unrequited love. As Tom (Gordon-Levitt) remembers his 500 days with Summer (Deschanel), he swings from emotional highs and lows. 500 Days of Summer moves quickly between moments of elation and desperation and features a mind-blowing soundtrack. This movie is movingly honest and, when paired with Adventureland, skillfully captures the myriad of emotions embroiled in romantic endeavor.
Black River Killer EP: Portland indie fave Blitzen Trapper has been slowly gaining popularity in and out of the Northwest. Their new EP single Black River Killer is a haunting narrative that is marks a clear departure from their other work. Released in late August, Black River Killer tells a first person story of a serial killer traveling across the United States. This band oscillates between Grateful Dead-like tonality and storytelling ability unheard since old Dylan work. The EP features six other previously unreleased songs but Black River Killer is a must-hear, you won’t be disappointed.
Mad Men: The 60s sensation is back! Mad Men follows the lives of those at the Sterling Cooper advertising agency, in and out of the office. Its narrative complexity, expert costume design, dynamic characterization and historical bend all contribute to this show garnering worthy reputation as one of the most enthralling shows on TV. In addition to all its unique attributes, the show boasts two things no other show has—Christina Hendricks and Jon Hamm. The casting is superb across the board but these two actors, Hendricks as Joan and Hamm as Don Draper are enough to make tuning in worthwhile. Tune in Monday nights at 9pm on AMC.
Summer may be over, but you can still savor the times of late sunsets, tanlines and driving with the windows down with these music, movie and TV picks. Welcome back!
That perennial time has come again when returning students scuffle around campus in hurried steps, cinder blocks move to and fro and the year begins again. For three months, we have wandered aimlessly, you and I, untethered in the world of entertainment. It’s good to be back. As a welcome back of sorts, let’s take a look down memory lane. This summer brought us great movies, revolutionary music and TV that means something.
Movies like Adventureland and 500 Days of Summer touched our hearts, taught us how to re-live our own awkward adolescences and better understand the ups and downs of love, lust and growing up. Blitzen Trapper released a groundbreaking EP and Mad Men returned with more surprises.
Adventureland: OK, so this movie was technically released in April, but since I saw it in a second-run pub theater this summer, I am counting it as a summer movie. In Greg Mottola’s coming-of-age tale, the loveable, awkward, sonnet-loving James Brennan (deftly portrayed by Jesse Eisenberg) finds himself employed at the apex of nihilist nothingness—the Adventureland theme park, and finds himself falling for the gorgeous, yet troubled Em. Yes, this movie does feature the abominable Kristin Stewart of Twilight fame. However, don’t let that stop you from enjoying this simultaneously inspiring, hilarious, and heartbreaking film. Typically, the word “transformative” is reserved for big toothed, Tony Robbins-style self-help hacks, but this film is exactly that—it has changed the way the rite of passage film tackles the rough terrain of first love. Adventureland is for anyone who has ever fallen in love, anyone who hasn’t, and anyone in between.
500 Days of Summer: Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt wow in this austere, beautiful film about unrequited love. As Tom (Gordon-Levitt) remembers his 500 days with Summer (Deschanel), he swings from emotional highs and lows. 500 Days of Summer moves quickly between moments of elation and desperation and features a mind-blowing soundtrack. This movie is movingly honest and, when paired with Adventureland, skillfully captures the myriad of emotions embroiled in romantic endeavor.
Black River Killer EP: Portland indie fave Blitzen Trapper has been slowly gaining popularity in and out of the Northwest. Their new EP single Black River Killer is a haunting narrative that is marks a clear departure from their other work. Released in late August, Black River Killer tells a first person story of a serial killer traveling across the United States. This band oscillates between Grateful Dead-like tonality and storytelling ability unheard since old Dylan work. The EP features six other previously unreleased songs but Black River Killer is a must-hear, you won’t be disappointed.
Mad Men: The 60s sensation is back! Mad Men follows the lives of those at the Sterling Cooper advertising agency, in and out of the office. Its narrative complexity, expert costume design, dynamic characterization and historical bend all contribute to this show garnering worthy reputation as one of the most enthralling shows on TV. In addition to all its unique attributes, the show boasts two things no other show has—Christina Hendricks and Jon Hamm. The casting is superb across the board but these two actors, Hendricks as Joan and Hamm as Don Draper are enough to make tuning in worthwhile. Tune in Monday nights at 9pm on AMC.
Summer may be over, but you can still savor the times of late sunsets, tanlines and driving with the windows down with these music, movie and TV picks. Welcome back!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
A Memo From Gonzaga University Administration RE: Swine Flu
Dear Students,
Please do not panic.
As your professors have mentioned, we have set up your classes on Blackboard as a safety measure in the event of imminent swine flu epidemic. Please take all necessary precautions to avoid getting the swine flu including, but not limited to: getting a flu shot, and avoiding eating, drinking, breathing or touching anything on this campus. Rest assured, you will still be able to access the assignments necessary for your class once you are enveloped in unavoidable feverish madness. Indeed, from the comfort of your own quarantined bed in a 19th century-style sanatorium that will be constructed to replace the COG, you can complete web postings, turn in essays and swap notes on the hideous pus extruding from your facial orifices.
But let’s be real. Swine flu is hardly the greatest threat facing this campus. Some of the threats facing us are not immediately quelled by a five-dollar flu shot. Have you ever considered your plan of action in the zombie day of reckoning? Do you know what to do in the event of a doppelganger army takeover? What will happen after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride onto campus? Luckily for you, the University has prepared for all of these looming crises poised to derail our academic year.
Likely, in the near future, this campus, as well as the rest of the country, will be teeming with virtually unstoppable zombies thirsty for brain matter. When this occurs, please visit Crosby Student Center for your Zag Zombie Baseball Bat (all costs charged to your student account). When used deftly, these bulldog-themed aluminum sluggers can provide the cranial-crushing blows necessary to ward off an attacking zombie. Do not try any other method to rid your domain of these vicious creatures. While kicking, punching, yelling or spitting at zombies may seem reasonable, nothing is as effective or satisfying as hearing that familiar splatter of zombie brains fly through the air with ease.
Similarly, when an army of doppelgangers takes over this campus under the cloak of night, it will become a mess of students, faculty, and staff and their ghostly counterparts. Likely, it will be difficult for you to keep a clear mind regarding who everyone is. Once, again, Blackboard will come to your aid, as classes will be held online. When you greet them, make sure you do not allow them access to your Blackboard information. Additionally, make sure to mark yourself showing everyone that you are in fact you, and not your doppelganger. This extra effort will make attendance in class much easier for your teacher, as it will cut down awkwardness when you and your doppelganger reply in unison, “Here.” That is, unless the swine flu has already set in…
Lastly, if you are on campus and you hear the chilling clap of horseshoes you will know it is the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Try not to be afraid of their swinging scythes, black hooded capes and horses’ blood red eyes. These gentle giants are really just misunderstood. Hurt by the recession like many others, these four guys found temp work traveling the globe, dispensing unfortunate news to banished souls regarding their eternal damnation to the boiling cauldron of brimstone, fire and the High School Musical soundtrack known as Hell. Please be advised that you will need to notify your RA in the event of your untimely departure from this earthly realm to avoid penalties including the rescindence of your housing deposit. With each incoming class growing exponentially, we must use our campus housing to its maximum potential.
Hopefully, these tips provide you a moment of calm in a world of imminent threat. Please feel free to send any questions in a scientifically sealed, sanitary envelope to the Office of the President. When one or all of these catastrophes descend upon our beloved campus, DO NOT PANIC. Please utilize this manual and your Blackboard account to ride out the disgusting, life-threatening and horrific calamities predicted for the 2009-2010 academic year. Go Zags.
Sincerely,
Dr. Thayne McCulloh
Interim University President
Please do not panic.
As your professors have mentioned, we have set up your classes on Blackboard as a safety measure in the event of imminent swine flu epidemic. Please take all necessary precautions to avoid getting the swine flu including, but not limited to: getting a flu shot, and avoiding eating, drinking, breathing or touching anything on this campus. Rest assured, you will still be able to access the assignments necessary for your class once you are enveloped in unavoidable feverish madness. Indeed, from the comfort of your own quarantined bed in a 19th century-style sanatorium that will be constructed to replace the COG, you can complete web postings, turn in essays and swap notes on the hideous pus extruding from your facial orifices.
But let’s be real. Swine flu is hardly the greatest threat facing this campus. Some of the threats facing us are not immediately quelled by a five-dollar flu shot. Have you ever considered your plan of action in the zombie day of reckoning? Do you know what to do in the event of a doppelganger army takeover? What will happen after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride onto campus? Luckily for you, the University has prepared for all of these looming crises poised to derail our academic year.
Likely, in the near future, this campus, as well as the rest of the country, will be teeming with virtually unstoppable zombies thirsty for brain matter. When this occurs, please visit Crosby Student Center for your Zag Zombie Baseball Bat (all costs charged to your student account). When used deftly, these bulldog-themed aluminum sluggers can provide the cranial-crushing blows necessary to ward off an attacking zombie. Do not try any other method to rid your domain of these vicious creatures. While kicking, punching, yelling or spitting at zombies may seem reasonable, nothing is as effective or satisfying as hearing that familiar splatter of zombie brains fly through the air with ease.
Similarly, when an army of doppelgangers takes over this campus under the cloak of night, it will become a mess of students, faculty, and staff and their ghostly counterparts. Likely, it will be difficult for you to keep a clear mind regarding who everyone is. Once, again, Blackboard will come to your aid, as classes will be held online. When you greet them, make sure you do not allow them access to your Blackboard information. Additionally, make sure to mark yourself showing everyone that you are in fact you, and not your doppelganger. This extra effort will make attendance in class much easier for your teacher, as it will cut down awkwardness when you and your doppelganger reply in unison, “Here.” That is, unless the swine flu has already set in…
Lastly, if you are on campus and you hear the chilling clap of horseshoes you will know it is the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Try not to be afraid of their swinging scythes, black hooded capes and horses’ blood red eyes. These gentle giants are really just misunderstood. Hurt by the recession like many others, these four guys found temp work traveling the globe, dispensing unfortunate news to banished souls regarding their eternal damnation to the boiling cauldron of brimstone, fire and the High School Musical soundtrack known as Hell. Please be advised that you will need to notify your RA in the event of your untimely departure from this earthly realm to avoid penalties including the rescindence of your housing deposit. With each incoming class growing exponentially, we must use our campus housing to its maximum potential.
Hopefully, these tips provide you a moment of calm in a world of imminent threat. Please feel free to send any questions in a scientifically sealed, sanitary envelope to the Office of the President. When one or all of these catastrophes descend upon our beloved campus, DO NOT PANIC. Please utilize this manual and your Blackboard account to ride out the disgusting, life-threatening and horrific calamities predicted for the 2009-2010 academic year. Go Zags.
Sincerely,
Dr. Thayne McCulloh
Interim University President
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